A Shoulder to Cry On
by stingrae90
Summary: The only way we win is together." Azula always lies. She doesn't really need her brother. At least not anymore. But there was a time when she really did need his support.


A/N: For more information regarding birthdays and titles as seen below, see my author's note at the end of the fic. Enjoy!

--

A muffled _bang!_ sounded through the halls of the Fire Palace, momentarily startling some of the cricket-mice out of their holes. Servants glanced curiously out of rooms or up and down hallways, and, upon finding nothing amiss, shrugged, and went back about their duties.

Only one person knew what the sound had meant, and she wasn't telling anyone.

It was too _embarrassing._

Princess Azula, newly five years old and just starting out in her firebending training, regarded the charred mess that had been a rug on her floor and fought to keep her tears from falling.

It wasn't proper for a princess of the Fire Nation to cry about something so silly as a stray spark or two. Daddy said so, and Daddy wasn't ever wrong.

But…that had been more than a couple sparks. And her pretty rug was ruined and Mommy was going to be mad that she had tried a new move on her own, without an adult to watch her and…

The tears were inevitable. Azula was just glad her door blocked sound so well. She didn't want anyone to know she had messed up with her firebending.

No one could know. She was the Fire Princess. She _couldn't _make mistakes like that.

But she was only five, and no child can be perfect.

--

Zuko, wearing a grin wide enough to nearly split his face in half, raced down the hallway to his room. He'd gotten it right. He'd finally gotten that kata _perfectly,_ and Mom had smiled at him, but Dad had been _proud_ of him, and that was the best thing ever.

The only thing that could make this day better, in Zuko's opinion, was if Lu Ten would take a break from his constant _drilling_ and show him some of the more advanced firebending moves like he'd promised to do.

Honestly, what was the use of having an older cousin in the _army –_ actually in command of part of it – if you couldn't learn neat things that your teachers wouldn't tell you?

Zuko nearly ripped his door off its hinges as he pounded into his room. It was a testament to the skill of the craftsmen who had built it that it didn't even protest the rough treatment. He flung himself onto his wide bed, bouncing slightly. His grin got wider, and he bounced again, just for the fun of it.

"This is the coolest day _ever!" _he hollered happily.

And then blinked as he heard a _squeak!_ from a corner of his room. He stopped bouncing, curious, and knelt on the bed so he could turn and survey every corner of his room.

Where had the squeak come from? It hadn't sounded like a cricket-mouse, and besides, the servants kept them out of his room. And he'd never heard any of the servants squeak before either, and there wasn't one in his room anyway.

Actually, the only people he'd heard squeak before were little girls. And the only little girl around here would be…

Azula.

Zuko's brow furrowed. Why was Azula squeaking? She only ever squeaked when she got excited, and that was because she hadn't learned how to keep her voice from getting that shrill yet. Zuko rubbed a hand against his ear ruefully, recalling some particularly shrill greetings he'd gotten from his sister when she was just a year or so younger than she was now.

She was only just growing out of the habit of tackling him every time she saw him, squealing happily in his ear. And he was just as glad she was. It wasn't something _big boys_ did, letting their younger sisters hang all over them like some sort of climbing tree.

Hopping off the bed, Zuko made his way over to the corner of his room he knew had a hole knocked into it. It had been an accident when he was six – he'd knocked over a cloak stand with enough force to take a chip out of his wall, and Mom had insisted it not be fixed so he had a reminder of why it wasn't a good idea to rough-house in his room. But the chip had expanded into a small hole, with some help from two sets of eager little hands, who had discovered that their rooms shared a wall, and they could talk late at night through the hole.

Zuko squatted near the hole, pressing his ear to it, and heard hitching breathing on the other side, and choked sobs. He blinked. Azula usually only cried after nightmares, but this wasn't nighttime and she hadn't been taking naps for a few weeks now. At least, she hadn't been taking naps _willingly_ for a few weeks.

So why was Azula crying?

"_You're Azula's big brother. You have the responsibility of looking after her, now."_

Mom's words drifted through his mind, and Zuko sighed. Well…he'd pester Lu Ten about new moves later. Azula came first.

And maybe he could convince the cooks to make them a sweet snack, to help Azula forget whatever had made her cry.

--

Azula curled up in the corner of her room as far away from the little speaking hole as possible, trying very hard to keep her crying quiet. But she knew Zuko had heard her. He'd stopped doing whatever he'd been doing in his room, and she'd heard her big brother move toward the speaking hole.

_Maybe he'll think it was a cricket-mouse. Maybe…please think it was a cricket-mouse._ Azula pleaded silently, big teary eyes fixed on the far side of her room. _Don't come in here and see me crying…I don't want Daddy or Mommy to know…don't come in…_

So fixated was she on the far wall, she missed her door opening. She missed seeing her brother's first shocked reaction to her scorched rug and how his eyes frantically searched the room for her.

So fixated was she on the far wall, she also failed to notice Zuko run up to her until he pulled her out of her corner and into a tight hug.

"_Stupid!"_ he half-yelled. "What made you try a new move by _yourself!?!"_

Azula froze in shock, and slowly twisted in his arms until she could see the underside of her big brother's chin. He was holding her so closely she couldn't even get enough room to see his face. She frowned, her tears momentarily forgotten.

"Zuko! You're squishing me!" she complained. "And I'm not _stupid!!"_

Zuko let her go so fast she stumbled, and when she regained her balance she glared golden defiance up at her brother.

But she couldn't hold her anger in the face of his open, concerned expression. She glanced down and away, furiously scrubbing at the tear tracks on her face, knowing he'd already seen them. Knowing he'd already _heard_ her crying like a little baby, and she _wasn't_, she was the Fire Princess and…

Arms encircled her again, more gently this time, cradling her against a solid, warm body. Despite herself, Azula clung to her brother. She couldn't handle it if he got mad at her too. Mommy and Daddy would already be mad at her when they found out. Mommy wouldn't mind that she had cried; Mommy would hold her like Zuko was doing now. But Daddy always said that tears were a sign of weakness and the Royal Family couldn't _afford_ to be weak. Azula didn't understand why, but she knew if Daddy said so, it had to be true.

But it was just Zuko with her right now, and so Azula indulged her five-year-old impulse to cry and sobbed out her story to her brother.

"I just wanted to kn-know I could do it a-again! I al-most didn't in – in practice and…and Lo said…I mean Li…I mean…_whichever of them it was!_ s-said I could…couldn't move on u-until I did and…and I want D-daddy to be p-proud of me…and…I didn't _mean_ to set the rug on fire!!"

"Um…okay," Zuko began awkwardly. "I-I'm sure you didn't mean to, Zuli. Calm down. Please?" Azula smiled, just the slightest bit. Her big brother never did deal well with tears. But he tried. She loved him for that. But he still didn't _get _it. And that was annoying. How could he not understand why it was such a big deal? She shoved away from him, but not hard enough to make him let go of her. Much as she wanted to just be held close right now, it wasn't helping, and listening to Zuko stumble over his attempt to calm her down wasn't going to make her feel any better.

"But Zuko! I'm the F-fire Princess! I can't _make _m-m-mistakes like that!!" she wailed to his face. He frowned at her. Clearly he still didn't get just why it was such a big deal. She huffed, using her anger to ward off more embarrassing tears. At least Zuko would never tell Daddy about this. They had an agreement. Anything discussed in their rooms, between _just them_, didn't get told to Daddy or Mommy. Ever.

Azula could see the confusion cross her brother's face. She could tell he had missed the point. His next words only proved it.

"It's alright to make mistakes, Zuli," he pointed out. "Everyone does sometimes. _I _make mistakes all the time, remember?" Azula rolled her eyes. Yes, he was _still_ missing the point.

"When's my birthday?" she demanded of him. Zuko stared at her blankly, and Azula wondered how he could be so _clueless._ "Zuzu! When's my birthday?"

"Girls are crazy…" Zuko muttered under his breath, but he answered her question anyway. After she glared at him. "Xiazhi. The sixteenth day of the sixth month. The summer solstice. What does that have to do with anything, Azula?"

"I was born at _fire's peak, _Daddy said. The solstice!! I'm supposed to be the p-prodigy and I _have _to get ev-everything right, and-" Her voice was breaking again with the renewed urge to cry, and Azula spun away from her brother, presenting him with her back. She wouldn't let him see her cry. She _wouldn't._ It wasn't proper and she was _Daddy's girl_ and…

Zuko's arms closed around her again, holding her firmly despite her half-hearted attempt to break free. He rested his chin atop her head – and he _knew_ she hated that, she already _knew_ he was taller than she was – and spoke to her quietly.

"So what if you were born at fire's peak? So what if you're the prodigy?" Azula stiffened, tears of betrayal now tracking down her face. How could her _own brother_ say such things to her? "You're _five, _Zuli. You only started bending _half a year ago._ You're allowed to make mistakes."

"But I'm _Favored of Heaven and Loved by Agni!"_ Azula wailed. Zuko was quiet a minute, and then, in a strangled voice, as if he were suppressing laughter, he said, "It's Favored of Agni and Beloved of Heaven, Azula."

Azula stiffened in his hold and smacked her small hand as hard as she could against his leg – the only part of him she could comfortably reach. "_Zuko!_ That's not the point! The point is I'm supposed to be able to do moves like that one!!"

Zuko hugged her tighter.

"I know, Zuli. I know. But you're just starting to learn to bend. Take your time."

Her brief flare of anger faded at Zuko's soft reassurance. Her eyes started to fill with tears once more.

"Zuzu…I…" she trailed off, hating the brokenness in her voice, and having no way to get around it. "I don't want to make Daddy mad at me."

"He won't be mad at you if you don't get a move right away, Zuli. I promise."

"Are you sure?" Azula couldn't stop her shaking, couldn't stop the tears, and found she couldn't care, because this was _Zuko. _Zuko – her big brother, the one who had chased out all the monsters her little girl dreams had conjured up in her bedroom. Zuko – who waved handfuls of flame around the dark corners of her room to ward off any nasty spirits that might be hungry for scared little girls. Zuko – who let only her call him Zuzu. "Zuzu…I'm scared."

"I'll stay with you."

Azula twisted in her brother's arms, and he loosened his grip to let her turn. She stared up at him, blinking in astonishment. "Really? When I have to-to-" she gulped and said it. "When I have to tell Mommy and Daddy about the rug?" It was true and a princess should always be truthful, Mommy said.

"And practicing without an adult." Zuko reminded her.

"Zu_zu…_" Azula whined. Zuko grinned.

"I'll stay with you. Really, Azula. That's what big brothers are for."

Azula stared hard up at the open face of her only sibling and then slowly smiled at him. She'd be in trouble, yes, but she had her big brother.

What could ever go wrong when her big brother was there for her?

--

A/N: Okay, Azula's birthday - 16th of the 6th month, Xiazhi, summer solstice, etc. - came out of the frustration of my beta and myself over not having calendars and by extention, birthdays for any of the characters of AtLA. So, as previously noted in the A/N of What Goes Around, Ch. 1, Caelum reached frustration overload before I did and hammered out a calendar and timeline for the series. Which we then had a field-day with in regards to birthdays. Links to the documents can be found on my profile page. Anyone is welcome to use the information therein, just give credit to Caelum. If anyone's interested, I can share the birthdays we came up with for the characters, but by no means are they official dates, for previously stated reasons.

Next, Azula's title: Favored of Agni and Beloved of Heaven. Result of much frustration and head-desking and roughly an hour's discussion with Caelum that resulted in this title. Azula's a prodigy, and not just any prodigy, but a prodigy of the Royal Family. Stands to reason the Fire Nation'd have a special title for prodigies, especially those born to the Royal Family. Agni is the Sun god, and "Beloved of Heaven" is derived from the fact that Amaterasu - the Shinto goddess of the Sun (Japanese) - ruled the heavens and Amaterasu can mean "she who shines in the heavens". That's a very condensced recitation of the conversation that went on, but there you have it. You guys get to enjoy the fruits of our labor!

So tell me what you think, my wonderful readers! That review button's just begging you to click on it!


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